Dumb Blonde jokes!!!! READ!!!!

A man hires a blonde to paint stripes down a road, but she has to keep the contract and do at least four miles each day. The first day, the blonde does 8 miles. The boss is extremely impressed. The second day the blonde does 4 miles. The boss is somewhat impressed, but not as much as before. The third day, the blonde does two miles. The boss thinks she is just having a bad day, so he still lets her keep the job. The fourth day, the blonde only does 1 mile. The boss asks, "You were doing so well before. Why aren't you doing well now?!" The blonde replies, "I can't get far because each day I'm getting further and further away from the bucket."
 
This blonde called her boyfriend and when he answered she started to pout and cry. "Josh, I've been working on this dam puzzle for two days and one night, come over and help me." "Here try it for one more day and call me tomorrow." he says. The next day she calls again and he replies... "Try it one more time alright?" next day... "Come on just try it one more time and then I'll come." The next day comes, Josh finally arrives at his g-friend's house. When she takes him to her kitchen he replies... "Put your stupid corn-flakes away and go back to bed!"
 
A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money. So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman. She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door. She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted—how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage." When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it." About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there. She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats. As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche—it's a Ferrari."
 
There were a blonde and a brunette driving and the brunette goes to the blonde, "Go check my blinker!" "Does it work?"
Blonde: "Yes""No""Yes""No"
 
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spits around and shouts: "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
 
A a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde walked into a room which contained a mirror inside. If you talked to the mirror and told a lie, it would suck you up. If you told the truth, it would give you a wish.
The brunette went first. She said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." And the mirror sucked her up.
Then the redhead went. She said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." And the mirror sucked her up.
So then the blonde went. She said, "I think-" And the mirror sucked her up.
 
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on an island. While walking along the beach one day they spot a lamp in the sand. They pick it up and rub and out pops a genie. He says,"I'll grant you each one wish. What is yours?" he asks the brunette.
"I'm sick of this island - I wish to go home," she answers. Poof! She disappears.
The genie then turns to the redhead. "What is your wish he asks?"
"I'm also sick of this island, so I wish to go home, too," she replies. Poof! She disappears.
Finally, the genie asks the blonde,"What is your wish?"
She answers,"Well, I'm very lonely now. I really wish my friends were still here..."
 
A blonde recieved an assignment from her special ed. science teacher. The assignment was what will happen after you pull all of the legs off of a grasshopper. So the blonde says jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she pulled off one leg and said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she does this until she got down to the last leg. So she pulled it off. Then she said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper didn't jump. so she wrote down on her piece of paper.
"They lose their hearing"
 
There were two blondes going hunting. It was getting late so one of the blondes said to the other that she heard if you ever get lost in the woods to shoot three shots into the air. So she did. A few hours went by and so she fired three more shots in the air. Afew more hours went by and they fired three more shots in the air. Then ont of the blondes said someone better hurry up and save us...we only have two more arrows left.
 
There were three woman at an American college eating lunch. There was a Russian, American, and a Blonde. They were all bragging about their countries.
The Russian said," We were the first in space."
The American said," We were the first on the moon."
The Blonde said," Well, we will be the first on the sun."
The Russian said," You cannot do that or you will burn up!"
"Duh! We'll go at night." the Blonde replied.
 
There is a blonde driving a car, she swerves to the left then right, then left. Then a police officers pulls her over and asks what she is doing, and she says"I swerved to the left cause there was a tree on the right, then swerved to the right cause there was another tree so i swerved to the left" The polce man says" Lady that's your air freshener.
 
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asked the blonde what she was doing and she replied,"I'm hanging myself."Your supposed to put the noose around your neck not your waist." said the onlooker. "I already tried that," replied the blonde "but I couldn't breathe"
 
One day a blonde was walking down the street. When a police officer stoped her and said miss did you realize that your blouse is open and your cleavage is hanging out. She replied oh my god I left the baby on the bus.
 
A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver's license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver's license, he asks for registration.
Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, "It's that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment."
"Ah," she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out.
Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, "Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!"
 
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