Went for coffee and cakes at a posh cafe today to celebrate my new contract, and I got this delight - a hazelnut and chocolate cookie, and enough calories to count as lunch.
It was kind of ironic though - I was actually dreading it because although it was a lovely gesture and a 'fun' work thing, I do suffer from social anxiety, esp. when 'the boss' is present, when in the company of a very pretty lady, or when I have to eat/drink in public, so this was a trifecta of all of my worst social anxiety triggers, and so I wasn't looking forward to it. I actually wanted to cancel, but couldn't/wouldn't because it would have looked so bad.
Amazingly, when the four of us arrived (at 11 am), the place was so busy that we were turned away for a table. My boss asked me what I wanted to do - go somewhere else nearby, or get takeaway and relocate back to the Uni. The latter option was perfect, as I'm far more comfortable on home turf, plus it meant I didn't need to order a coffee (which I struggle to handle due to aforementioned) and just had some water instead.
In the end it was a really pleasant break, and I unexpectedly made everyone laugh out loud with my story about getting trapped in my boss's hotel room in SF when he fell asleep, so it ended up a very relaxed and enjoyable affair. I really hate having social anxiety - and the fact that the only way to 'cure' it is approx. 2 units of alcohol, which isn't possible alot of the time - and telling people about it (when you are actually out in public I mean) not only doesn't help, but actually makes it even worse.
But, I'm very grateful for that great stroke of luck that meant we had to go somewhere else. If God exists, thanks for listening this morning and I owe you one buddy.
www.mcdonalds.com
